


The Cherry On Top

by justtoogaytofunction



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Masturbation, Other, cake sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 08:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justtoogaytofunction/pseuds/justtoogaytofunction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren gets inventive and very, very messy</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cherry On Top

‘Delivery!’ someone calls while they knock on the door of Darren’s apartment.

What? Darren hadn’t ordered anything, at least, not anything he remembered. Slowly, he got off his couch, and stumbled his way to the door. He had been watching TV on the lowest volume all morning; trying to nurse a bad hangover.

‘Hi,’ the delivery boy says, much to loud, as Darren opens the door. ‘Are you Mr Darren Criss?’

‘Yeah. I don’t think- I didn’t order anything though?’

‘Well someone sent you cupcakes,’ the boy smiles, handing over a pink cardboard box with a ribbon on it. ‘If you just sign here-‘ the boy holds out his clipboard and a pen,’-then I can go.’

Darren obliges and signs his name, remembering halfway through to use his different one from his autograph one and creating the weirdest squiggle he thought possible.

‘Cheers,’ the boys ays, walking back to the lift, leaving Darren with a pink box in his hands.

Darren really didn’t get why he had cupcakes. Maybe a fan had found his address?- shit, he didn’t want that to have happened. Or was this Ryan’s way of telling him he was going to have to get his chest waxed again. Because that shit hurt, man. He opened the box with difficulty and placed himself back on his couch. Inside were 8 cupcakes, and they didn’t look cheap. Finally, he found a little card to the side of the box and opened it.

‘Apparently they’re the best in New York, so I thought you should try them. I miss you – Chris xxx’

Chris! Of course Chris would think of something like this, Darren should have known. But then he felt guilty- Chris was the one working on his book tour- wasn’t Darren meant to be the one sending him treats? Oh well. He’d make it up to Chris by giving him the best welcome-back-sex ever.

Darren flicks the TV back on skipping past ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ and several episodes of ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’ before finding a channel showing some British show about a man with a flying blue box. It didn’t’ seem too complicated, he was sure his hungover brain could keep up.

Darren lasts a whole 15 minutes before the plot became too confusing. Still watching the screen, (why was he finding tin men scary?) his right hand wandered down his pyjama pants. He strokes himself, at the top of his thigh, without realising, before looking around for his box of cupcakes. He grabs the biggest one and peels off the case, chucking it on the floor. Stills stroking himself, he takes a bite out of the cake.

God, that tastes good. He’d have to make sure he gave Chris a blowjob as soon as he saw him.

Shit. Maybe that doesn’t taste so good after all.

It seemed Darren’s hangover couldn’t handle a load of sugar and butter cream icing because suddenly he has acid in his throat and he really doesn’t want to throw up right now.

Better leave the cake for later.

He doesn’t really want to put the cake on the floor because he’s not quite sure what exactly grows on his carpet anymore so instead be balances it on his naked stomach and returns to watching TV and rubbing himself slowly until he’s hard.

Uhh that feels good, right…right there

He’s cock’s almost fully hard now but Darren’s going to need lube if he wants to do this. The lube’s in the bedroom though. And no way is he getting up. He spits into his hand and starts to move his fist up and down his cock, no longer paying attention to what’s on television.

With the spit and his pre cum; it’s easier and smoother now and Darren can’t be bothered to take things slow so he starts pumping himself faster and faster, looking down at himself as he does.

Since when was his precum blue? That- that wasn’t normal was it?

Darren panics slightly and removes his hand, his cock resting on his stomach while he inspects his hand.

Phew- that’s definitely not cum. That’s- eew, is that icing?

Darren tries to wipe it off back onto the cake before realising that not only is his cake now coated in his saliva and a bit of cum but he actually has more of the icing on his hand than he started off with. There are no tissues in sight and Darren is not about to tuck himself back into his bottoms and ignore his hard on ,so he-well, he continues.

This is so disgusting dude. You’re masturbating with cake icing for god sake.

As much as Darren tries to push the thought away from himself, he can’t deny it. Icing isn’t actually that bad of a lubricant. Of course, it’s no way as good as the actual stuff but it’s definitely better than his saliva.

Maybe..maybe just a little bit more?

A little bit more turns into a lot more and by the time Darren’s used up all the icing on his cake for his aching cock, he’s getting crumbs mixed in as well.

That’s kind of hot Darren smiles to himself, looking down at his icing covered cock. Maybe if you used the sponge too, it would look like a swiss roll.

So Darren does what only his alone, hungover and slightly still drunk mind could come up with. He grabs the cake and smears it into the icing on his dick. Suddenly, seeing his dick covered in icing and with cake crumbs on top of that, this doesn’t seem as hot any more.

What the hell are you doing dude? Seriously, what the fuck?

Darren doesn’t know what to do. He’s kind of close to his orgasm but right now his dick is resembling a mini roll gone wrong (though to be honest, it wasn’t exactly mini) and it’s totally not turning him on.

Sighing, he scrapes off the icing and sponge mess and wipes it off on his chest and sighs as it gets caught in his chest hair. Maybe waxing wasn’t’ such a bad idea after all. But then again, most people don’t get into the situations he does.

Once his cock is sort of clean again and he’s returned to using good old saliva he gets back to masturbating in peace. God he was so close, the pit of heat in his stomach getting to that stage where it was become overwhelming.

‘I will love you…Until my dying day..’

Fuck, why did his cell phone have to go off now, of all places? He would usually ignore things like this –sex time was important, even if it was just with himself- but this could be work related and the last time someone rang him in the middle of masturbating, it had been to sing for Obama.

Looking at his phone, he saw he didn’t have a call, but a message- from Chris. Smiling to himself, he opens it.

C-Send a pic of yourself. I’m horny and miss you

Shit

D- Can’t at the mo. Sorry xxx

C- Why?? :(

D- Everything’s a bit messy? Xx

C-What? Explain?.. xx

Darren didn’t quite know where to begin.


End file.
